The wedding day is one of the happiest days for couples who will unite their lives. We want this big day, which brings months of preparation, to be perfect. But there is also a scary side to this joyful, exciting and partly tiring day: The first night of marriage can cause one or both of the couple to feel anxious, stressed or scared. (This first night fear is usually experienced by women, but there are also many men who experience this fear.) This is certainly not unique to you, many newly married couples experience first night fears. The stress of being together for the first time can make you nervous and end the night in a way you don't want. That's why in this article, we will be answering the question of how to overcome the fear of the first night in marriage.
First Night Fear in Marriage
Fear of the first night of marriage can cause some couples to lose sleep for weeks before the wedding day. This fear can limit the enjoyment of the wedding (especially for the bride-to-be) and can overshadow one of the couple's happiest days with stress.
In fact, there is no need to be so afraid of the first night. The vast majority of people get through this process somehow in their routine lives. Keeping in mind that sexual life will become almost a routine with your spouse as time progresses can reduce the stress of the fear of the first night in marriage. However, the fear of the first night in marriage can be overcome with many methods. Let's talk about these methods one by one.
How to Overcome First Night Fear in Marriage?
The day of the wedding is likely to be a turning point in your life and one of the happiest days you will remember fondly for the rest of your life. But if you are worried about the first night, it can make your happiest day uncomfortable. Fortunately, there are different ways to overcome the fear of the first night in marriage. By applying these methods, you can spend the first night of your marriage in a comfortable and enjoyable way.
How to Overcome First Night Fear in Marriage
Get in touch
Communicating with your partner is one of the most important factors in overcoming first night fears. You can tell your partner how you feel and share your worries with him/her. Talking about your worries and fears will not only make you feel more comfortable but will also make your partner more compassionate towards you.
Take things slow
Taking things slow can be the best thing a couple can do for their first night experience. You probably had a fast and busy pace during the wedding preparations. When the wedding night is added on top of that, it is natural to be tired. Don't let this tiredness rush you. By taking things slowly, you can ensure that the first night of the rest of your life is romantic and intimate. So don't forget to stop once in a while, look into each other's eyes and share a few kisses.
You can create an ambiance in the house/room where you will spend your first night that will put you in the mood. For example, romantic and slow music, roses and candles... You can keep up with this kind of ambience and gather your courage and increase your enthusiasm. This enthusiasm will help you overcome your nervousness.
Lower your expectations
Keep your expectations low for the first night. Most young newlyweds are not sure what they will and will not want on their first night. So it will take time to learn your partner's likes and dislikes. Realize that this is a process and try to get to know both yourself and your partner. You will have enough time in the rest of your life to get used to sexual intercourse with your partner and to discover what he or she likes. So lower your expectations for your first experience. When you keep your expectations low, your fear of the first night will decrease to some extent.
Be informed about the topic
Not everyone knows enough about sexual intercourse. Do not think that you are the only beginner in the world. You can read a book on the subject, read articles on the internet or ask someone you trust who is older and more experienced than you. Even though the relationship is based on your and your partner's private life and private tastes, some tips may be useful.
Wear something special
The lingerie you wear on the first night can really help set the mood and lift both you and your partner. To excite your partner, you can choose pieces that are different from your usual underwear and that make you feel special and attractive.
It is very important to have confidence in yourself. Because your confidence will reduce your tension and stress. In this way, your partner will also feel more comfortable with you.
Make foreplay long
Foreplay is of greater importance than the actual act. If you want to prolong the enjoyment of the first night and reduce tension, you should prolong the foreplay. This allows both partners to warm up, relax and feel good.
Fear of the first night in marriage stems from an exaggerated perception of the situation. Women in particular may overestimate the first night as too painful or challenging, or vice versa, they may think that both partners will do very well. Remember that this is your first sexual experience and that both you and your partner have a lot to experience and learn about each other. At the same time, the nature of sex does not involve as much pain and blood as one might think.
If the suggestions we have described are followed, the fear and anxiety of the first night of marriage can be alleviated or even completely eliminated. Remember that the key point on the first night is to listen to your spouse with love and tolerance, share your thoughts and act with each other in mind.
As we've said before: Don't overestimate the first night. Today is important only because it is the first day of the rest of your life. As time goes by, you will share more and more with your partner and learn more about what you like and don't like.
If you are experiencing intense anxiety about the first night and can't get over it, it may be helpful to seek help from a therapist.
Choosing Contraception in Marriage
The vast majority of newly married couples do not plan to have children right away. (Of course, this decision should be made together.) We recommend that you and your partner talk about using birth control and having children before the wedding.
Talking about these issues can also help with the fear of the first night of marriage and make both parties feel more comfortable. It is very important to listen and respect each other's wishes. If your wishes are the same, you can easily choose your method of contraception, or perhaps you may not want to use contraception at all. If you and your partner disagree about contraception and having children, try to talk and find a middle ground. Remember that marriage is about sharing a whole life together and always being respectful and understanding of your partner's opinions.